Ellen Meyer - Le Podcast

Take your power back! Epigenetics prove that you can.

I would like to invite you to connect with me on social media on:

• Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lifestyledesigneroninsta/ 

• Facebook @thelifestyleemporiumtribe 

The website:  www.thelifestyleemporium.ch which offers both learning experiences,  personal mentorship and counselling sessions. You can book a FREE discovery call here.

You can read the show notes on the Lifestyle Emporium blog.

Until next time friends!

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006: The Value of Women Across Generations and How We Need Each Other

The Value of Women Across Generations and How we Need Each Other

"Women of all generations I would like to remind you of your worth and the unique gift that you are to the world. This is not a superficial cheerleader pep talk – this is a reminder of your identity and your purpose. It is a reminder of the many battles fought and conquered before. We are women with a mission and meaning far beyond our current situation."

For the full podcast transcript, visit: https://www.thelifestyleemporium.ch/blog

ACTION:

Firstly, take a look at yourself. What are you good at or what resources do you have which could use to bring about something positive in another’s life.

Secondly, put your talents to good use. I think it is always wise to start in our home with your family – but don’t just stay there. Make a list of women that you could encourage in a practical way: through a phone call, a note of encouragement, cooking a meal or buying a product from a small business – better yet – making a generous donation or investment. Make the list and make a habit of doing this daily. Yes – daily.

Finally, let’s start a conversation. I love hearing what is on heart tell me where you feel stuck, how you have accomplished breakthrough, or how you think you could serve others. I am passionate to connect people with each other or to resources that may be helpful in their journey. Get in touch, I would love to hear from you.

Time to Connect

I would like to invite you to connect with me also on social media:

Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lifestyledesigneroninsta/

Facebook @thelifestyleemporiumtribe : https://www.facebook.com/thelifestyleemporiumtribe.

 You can also reach me through my website: www.thelifestyleemporium.ch which offers both learning experiences and mentorship and my contact details should you want to get in touch, ask questions or make a special request if there is something on your heart which we can discuss on this podcast.

I look forward to hear from you.

005: Connection, Creativity & Faith as an Antidote to Fear - An Interactive Workshop

I am delighted to welcome you to episode 5 of the The Lifestyle Emporium Podcast:  Connection, Creativity Faith as an Antidote to Fear. My name is Ellen Meyer

This is your new gathering place, a hub of fresh encounters, inspiration, courage and life skills that will help you realize and fulfil the purpose that you have been created for – while living in joy and abundance throughout the journey.

Here is an outline of my action plan to wring absolutely every bit of wonderful out of this time that we have been given. I have divided it into three phases:

1) A Time to Connect

2)  A time of Planning and Preparation and

3) Time to Play

A Time to Connect:

1. Our thoughts and our words matter. Positivity, optimism and faith will need to replace panic and fear and is the first and most essential utensil in your toolbox. This is a deliberate mindset that we may need to clothe ourselves in every day.
2. If ever there was a time for a family meeting, this is it. I highly recommend talking calmly and openly about the reality of the situation. Encourage each person to talk about what they have on their heart, talk about fears, disappointments, hopes and plans. Make a point to tell each one in your family how much you love them.
3. Manage expectations and don’t let arguments catch you by surprise. Be proactive.
4. A finance conversation needs to be had.
5. Date night does not have to die. Make sure that the kids go to bed on time and then make an effort to spend quality time together.

 Planning and Preparation.

Planning and preparation is going to be the second most useful implement in your toolbox. After we revel in the novelty of the first few days of being able to sleep in and slouch around in pyjamas, here is how I suggest we design or life to be both fun and fruitful:

1. Create a daily schedule. Get up at the same time daily, put on some mascara and lip gloss and get dressed with intention. If you are a parent, you will likely need to create a structure for the family. Start by creating a daily schedule (by the hour) and an outline of the week and month ahead.  

• Include in the daily schedule: a time for reflection and meditation
• In the daily schedule, include in your planning mealtimes, coffee breaks, school work, your personal projects, free time, moments of creativity, exercise, media, and times to connect as a family.
• Use media for kids sparingly as rewards or maximise it to keep the kids occupied get personal projects done.

2. Let the list – making begin. According to your daily or weekly plan, make a list of the things that you will need. But before you pop those items in the online shopping cart – take an inventory of the grocery cupboard, your art supplies, the toy cupboard. Make a music and a movies - to watch and books to read list. This will create a sense of excitement for what is to come.

7. Shopping. Wherever possible, shop local, support small business. Avoid overspending and emotional shopping.
8. Create weekly highlights: Have things to look forward to. When planning mealtimes, create theme nights and make favourite dishes. You could even get dressed up, set the table, light some candles and put on some music. Pack colourful fun spring picnics and eat outdoors.
9. Let creativity rule! Explore and try some of the things you’ve never had time to do. Painting, photography, knitting or sewing, write a story or your first blog post. Have a competition to see who can come up with the most inventive or artistic project. We may not be able to travel, but now we have no excuse to organise our photo albums either digitally or printed or even create a scrapbook.
10. Create connection. Include the kids’ in meal and activity planning sessions.Family spa sessions complete with facemasks and massages or doing exercise together. Start gardening, or do a DIY project. And how about let’s get back to the art of letter writing?
11. Spring Clean! Tackle room by room, clear the clutter, organise and purge. Maybe there are some items we can share with those in need.
12. Assign dedicated spaces for activities. To avoid friction, determine sections of the house for work and play.
13. Include the entire family in housework and chores. Let each person take ownership for particular areas or tasks and come up with imaginative rewards.
14. Support and encourage others. This should actually be number one on my list. If you are healthy, find out if you could do groceries, deliver a meal or support someone in need. While many of us are at home, health and other professionals are risking their own health and working overtime to take care of those in need. Reflect if there is something we can do to lighten their load or add joy in their day.

A Time to Play

In this final section I would like to remind you to be fully present and treat this time with childlike fun. Live, dance, embrace, be grateful… PLAY. Life rolls on – it waits for no one. There is no way to rewind what is lost or even fast forward to a more desired time. Our vulnerability reminds me that we have been created and – we are not the ultimate creator of our fate and future. Let love rule our hearts and minds as we navigate this season. The decisions we make on a daily basis matter.

 We have arrived at the end of this episode. This little workshop is meant to serve as inspiration, a mere starting point to make the most out of this time for your unique family situation. 

Let me know how it goes and what life lessons you are learning. Connect with me on social media

On Instagram or  Facebook @thelifestyleemporiumtribe  or visit www.thelifestyleemporium.ch which offers both learning experiences and personal mentorship.

 

004: How to be Less Overwhelmed and More Fruitful

Today, I would like to address a topic which most of us will likely be faced with at some point in life: overwhelm. Often coupled with anxiety it severely affects our ability to function efficiently. For those of us who thrives on getting things done, or who are simply under pressure to fit an impossible multitude of to-do’s in a day, overwhelm and anxiety leave you with a sense that you simply don’t have what it takes - you are just not enough. It is paralysing and disempowering. But there is hope and in today’s episode, we are going to turn the tables on the dreaded overwhelm by looking at it for what it really is and finding the underlying causes and triggers. Together, we are going to evaluate your life honestly and then talk about practical solutions to help you plan your life so that you are the master of the schedule that you create, not the other way around. Wouldn’t you love to go to bed each night with a sense of peace and joy, knowing that you have made the very best use of your time, instead of lying awake anxiously, haunted by what you failed to accomplish. 

So, overwhelm. Let’s hear it ladies, which category best describes you. Is it a rare occurrence or are you just surviving in a constant life of crazy? Are you:

1. … a mum, trying to keep head above water in a busy household schedule without losing your mind. You’ve  even given up on finding a few spare moments for yourself. Or
2. …  an entrepreneur slightly overwhelmed by the sheer magnificence of how many layers of building a business there actually is, and let’s not even talk about keeping up family relationships or friendships. Or
3. … are you in the early years of starting out with studies and  a future career, feeling the lonely burden of finding your place in a world of possibilities, responsibilities and choices.

The list can go on as I reflect about the lives of friends and clients. You fill in your unique scenario which leads you to feel submerged - even if it is with good things.  You may be loving the excitement of a season, but struggling to manage it all. A new addition to your family or a new business is maybe something that you have been hoping and planning for. Or perhaps you are caught up in the cycle of have-to-do responsibilities and unable to do the things you really would like to accomplish. When someone asks you how you are, you say: “Fine, just….so busy.” How can we find more hours in the day? With this podcast, I hope to help lift you out of the fog. Sometimes, we just need a new perspective, to bring some clarity and move forward with a plan. 

The good side of anxiety and how you can use it to your advantage

Do you know that experiencing anxiety is entirely normal? In fact, it may even be a good thing. It is your body’s way of sending an alarm for you to address a deeper issue. If your life is busy, but you are at peace and not overwhelmed - then you would not be listening to this. You are listening because you are busy and frazzled.  You have received that warning signal which alerts you that something needs to change before it is too late. Now is time to start making those changes.  Anxiety serves only as an alert, usually triggered by busyness and an over full schedule. When ignored, it will affect your health and your relationships and definitely your productivity. Doing more - does not mean that you are getting more done. Inability to sleep, heightened emotions, such as anger and irritability, depression and heart disease have all been linked to anxiety. Be attentive, you may at first only notice the consequences such as emotional numbness or disconnect from your spouse, resentment towards your children or lack of joy, but these are mere signals which should lead to a turning point. 

Turning point moments

There has been a few  turning point moments in my life where I realised that change needs to happen. I share this with you so that you will know that, if you are a hard working person who tends to have a full calendar,  it is normal to reach limits. You’ll probably have a number of alerts in your lifetime which require assessments, but trust me,  it gets easier, when you realise how to recognise the signs. I thrive on productive busyness - but there was a recent season where I felt constantly overwhelmed. The worst thing was that I was doing things that would usually give me joy - but instead, I just felt burned out and fatigued. No joy. I should have recognised the signs earlier, but I told myself that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. But my reality looked something like this: Constantly losing my phone or my keys and hours spent looking for things, because I was so preoccupied that I did not follow the systems that I put into place. I would find the opened milk in the grocery cupboard and the protein powder in the fridge. During one busy week, I rushed to an appointment, so distracted that I continually caught myself driving over the speed limit and I did the unthinkable - I responded to text messages and emails at the stop signs. I was late as usual. That morning after my appointments, I returned to my car - and couldn’t find my car keys. I retraced my steps frantically, realising I am now late for my next appointment, only to return to my car and find that I left the car unlocked with the key in the ignition, laptop and gym bag on the passenger seat for anyone to help themselves. But the most heartbreaking was when my son wrapped his arms around me one evening -  trying to keep me from my computer - saying mama, you are always busy and I don’t think you have time for me anymore. Woaw, now that hit a nerve. I deliberately decided to work from home to be near my son and now… I may as well be somewhere else. Perhaps my case is extreme, but does any of this seem familiar to you? 

 Three questions to reflect on, to help you gain perspective and help you choose the activities that fill your calendar.

1. When you are in your seventies, what would you like your life to look like? What is your vision for those golden years?
2. Why do you do what you do? What is motivating or driving you?
3. Does your current daily schedule, reflect the appropriate investment in the things that would help you accomplish number 1? 

I will elaborate. For the first question, our details may differ, but I am sure that most of us will say something like:  when I am older, I would like to enjoy good health, surrounded by loved ones and be financially secure. Now darlings, think a little - you can’t exactly enjoy your loved ones or your riches when you are dead or there is nothing left of you, now can you? 

Secondly, what is the motivation behind the activities that make up or drive your life? No, I am not asking if you enjoy what you do - because most of us, may even enjoy the challenge of managing busy lives. No, I am asking WHY?  Could it be that the kids schedules are jam packed because you never had those opportunities and you have perhaps gone slightly overboard?  Could it be that you have fallen for the lie that your identity is wrapped up in success or a new qualification? Could it be that you strive to achieve to obtain affirmation? Could it be that you’ve succumbed to the pressure of comparison, feeling somehow inadequate and working hard to try to live up to what you believe to be the standard of our day. Think about your why and if some of the things on your list is to attempt to fill a void or heal a hurt. Think about whether your busyness is perhaps a way to prove yourself or even run away from truly thinking and feeling deeply. If this is the case my friend, the bandaid of busy is a temporary solution and we have some deeper work to do. 

Thirdly, does your schedule reflect your values and ultimate vision for your life? Friends, it is what you do on a daily basis consistently which will largely determine what the outcome of your life will be. Most plants won’t survive if you don’t water them regularly and give them the appropriate environment to thrive - ask me, I am an expert plant killer. More important than plants is you, your health and the relationships that you have been entrusted with. If your time mis-invested - you will only reap where you sow. Oh and don’t deceive yourself by thinking - if I can just get past this week, I will workout, spend time with the kids, go to bed on time. Next week never comes. 

Friends, this is serious. We brag about the fact that we are workaholics like it is a virtue, but it is fact killing you and your loved ones softly. A negatively rushed life leads to a host of sometimes silent physical symptoms with negative effects on long term health. The thing is, that we get so used to being in this condition that when we finally make time to relax, we are distracted, not present in the moment and physically unable to unwind. At this point, it is tempting to turn to methods of escapism which could look like  over eating, mindless social media scrolling or frequent alcohol use.  

Time for Change:

Now, I hope you can see that anxiety and overwhelm are not your actual problems. They are merely the warning signs to alert you that it is time for a change. If you realise that this needs to be a turning point, then let’s start your life assessment and don’t tell me that you don’t have time. This is you - taking back your life. While doing this life assessment, remember that there is no condemnation or judgment. It is healthy to take full ownership of what may have gone wrong while at the same time giving yourself credit for what has gone right and then making a commitment to work towards positive, healthy changes. You will need commitment and perseverance and if this frightens you, read and be motivated by the answer in question number one: the vision that you have for your life.  Here is our action plan outline:

1. Be honest

Assess your schedule by looking back at your calendar and tracking your time. If you already have a calendar or a time planning system, you would already have a base to work with. But sit and write down what your schedule looks like over about a month, a week and a day. You need to know almost exactly what fills your hours. Even evenings and weekends. How much time are you driving around, shopping, working, watching TV or spending on scrolling. Be honest as you summarise your schedule and ask yourself if you like what you see. Honestly reflect on what is truly essential, where are you wasting time and what are doing too much or too little of? 

2. Be realistic

Though I am an enthusiast and I believe as women, we are capable of the extraordinary, I believe that many of us have fallen prey to the lie that we can do anything and everything. None of us like to hear that we have limits, and while I believe we should live at 100 % capacity, I think we need to understand that we  do actually have limits and we need to know where our boundaries lie. If you had to write everything down that you would like to do in your daily and monthly planner hour by hour with a realistic assessment of how long this takes - you may be surprised, perhaps a little discouraged to find out that you are in fact… human. And the everything we want to do, simply do not fit. Furthermore, there is consequences for what we choose to accomplish and there is a price to pay. Consider if your reality truly allow for your current level of ambition and who will pay the cost? Perhaps it will take a little longer to build that business or reach certain goals, but it will still happen. Recognise your season and your personal capacity - and create your schedule wisely accordingly, considering the cost. Remember that your schedule on a daily basis need to broadly reflect elements of: rest, refuelling, relationships and responsibilities.

3. Be ruthless

Now while you are looking at your reality, the fun part begins: the ruthless elimination of non-essentials and time wasters. Remember when I asked you to reflect on your why? Why you are spending time on what you do? Now is the time to eliminate anything from your schedule that you are doing for the wrong reasons. Perhaps this is not the time to set another goal or add another activity. Perhaps you have realised that you have spent an unbalanced amount of time and money on a particular project - and you need to have a more realistic long term approach or maybe you have completely over-scheduled your child’s activities. Maybe your affair with your crowded schedule has left no room for your spouse. This is your moment to start afresh and be ruthless,  remove anything that does not align with your values and build into your ultimate vision for your life.

4. Be hopeful

Precious friend, I would like to see you live light and free and I would like to give you permission to BE. You have permission to rest, you have permission to take a day off. Someone once said that we have to remember that we are a human being, not a human doing. In fact, if you don’t schedule time in for rest, refuelling and relationships they are unlikely to ever happen. You may take a bit longer to reach goals, but you need to be directed by that long term vision. Put daily practices in place which will nourish and motivate you and help you progress in health, relationships and your personal and family goals. A big part of being a fulfilled human being is being a part of a community, serving, sharing with and loving others. This vital part of being is one of the first areas that suffers, when we run on empty and end up with nothing more to give.

5. Be vulnerable

Realise that you need people. Realise that you may need to say “no” sometimes and you likely need to ask for help and or delegate. This is one of my weakest points. I always end up taking on too much and afraid to ask for help. For me asking for help,  now starts first thing in the morning with a time of meditation and devotion. As a person of faith, I draw strength from my Creator who holds time in His hands, the One who has the power to protect my loved ones and truly grant me strength in my weakness and wisdom, energy and creativity from the Creator himself. Sometimes, you may need to actually ask the help of a friend or reach out to a coach or counsellor. Perhaps you need to get your groceries delivered or get a housekeeper from time to time. You are not weak, only human. 

6. Be prepared

In order to get to a place where you have less overwhelm and more room to move and room to breath, you need to prepare for it. While there is no exact formula, there is a process. Many of us have been living in the chaos of crazy for such a long time, that it will take time to dig yourself out from under it. You need to be organised and put systems into place and work steadily towards being in that spacious place. There are no shortcuts. Planning and preparation is key for the busy person and time well invested to free yourself up for the things that really matter. 

Ladies, this is not just about a pursuit of the mere feeling of happiness. If this was the case we could live off the rush, the dopamine highs - of busy schedules, achievement or social media likes. But we know this is not sustainable. The contrary is true, the anxiety and overwhelm we experience, reveal to us that we are sacrificing relationships and physical and mental health on the altar of busy. You are a friend, daughter and possibly a mum and wife with a sphere of influence, what legacy will you leave behind? Will we perpetuate this unsustainable pace of life in the lives of the next generation or will we teach them how to be truly present, making the most of each opportunity, valuing relationships, while being content and grateful for what we have right now? 

Here is a quick summary: Ask yourself the three perspective - giving questions about your life.

1. How do you envision enjoying the last years of your life? 
2. What is really motivating driving you to do what you do? Remember that true joy and fulfilment cannot be found from external sources, only intrinsically.
3. Will how you live now, help you accomplish number 1?

Now let’s take a look at the reality of your schedule and take some action. I’ve outlined six steps which you could use as a framework to start creating a life with breathing space. Firstly, you will need to honestly assess your schedule, be realistic about your priorities, your family situation, your limitations. Thirdly, perform a ruthless elimination of non - essentials, so that fourthly, with hope and enthusiasm, you could start mastering your schedule, making time for what is of true value. Fifthly, admit your vulnerabilities and get help. Bizarrely, vulnerability actually creates connection, so reach out as soon as possible. Finally, planning and preparation creates spacious places and this is where creativity and productivity thrives. 

So let’s take one day at a time, let’s curate our schedule as well as we curate our instagram feeds and start living life with less overwhelm and far more fruitfulness. 

Let me know how it is going ok? You will find me on instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/lifestyledesigneroninsta/ or on Facebook @thelifestyleemporiumtribe. You can also connect with me on, The Lifestyle Emporium website: www.thelifestyleemporium.ch which offers both learning experiences and personal mentorship or via email on, ellenmeyer@thelifestyleemporium.ch.

Until next time friends. 

003: A Cheat Sheet for a Flourishing Marriage

The Lifestyle Emporium Podcast

A Cheat Sheet For A Flourishing Marriage – For My Married And Single Friends.

My name is Ellen Meyer I am delighted to welcome you to your new gathering place,a hub of fresh encounters, inspiration, courage and life skills that will help you realise and fulfil the purpose that you have been created for – while living in joy and abundance throughout the journey. This is a weekly interactive, conversational, lifestyle podcast – which I created to connect with my girlfriends all over the world.  I would like to accompany you my friend, wherever you are – whether it be on your lunch break, in a traffic jam or folding laundry. Our time together is destined to bring you new motivation and encouragement, to offer you a fresh perspective and give you the tools to alleviate overwhelm and anxiety. For this podcast to truly make a difference – really listen, reflect and engage. There may just be something that you need to be reminded of today.

I wanted to prepare today’s podcast in time for Valentines Day, but in true Ellen style – I am late. Thankfully these little truth bombs do not date. Now, I am going to be honest with you – you may not like them all, but they are worth contemplating.

This podcast is entirely dedicated to the man who is the bubbles in my champagne and the cream in my coffee; he is my glass of red wine at the end of a crazy week. He is absolutely my better half  - this is a tribute to you my Mr. Meyer - and it is also an apology because I did not buy you a Valentines gift. Sorry babe – so cute that this does not even matter to you, although I know you like surprises. Anyway, I digress - last year we celebrated our 10 -year anniversary.  How on earth this man puts up with me – no how he loves me the way he does - is the greatest unsolved mystery of all time.

BUT I was not always loved like this. To recount my failed relationships will take days and I won’t bore you, but when I met Mr. Meyer at the age of 30 – I felt like I have been waiting my whole entire life. So – my single friends – I include something for you as well in this podcast because well – I was once YOU. So without further ado, here is my personal cheat sheet for a flourishing marriage:

Point number 1 of 21 is about Valentines Day or any other day that creates… EXPECTATION. Listen to my words of infinite wisdom ladies:  are you ready? Here it is: Have very low expectations of your other half.I kid you not – it is a marvelous strategy to avoid disappointment. So he didn’t get you flowers or he forgot. Get over it, and next time, buy yourself a big bouquet of flowers a lovely bottle French Champagne and celebrate LIFE anyway. They usually feel terrible when they see the big bunch of flowers, which you thank him for.

On the more serious side though, talk about your hopes and expectations BEFORE you get married. Single friends – BEFORE you get married. Discuss how you like to celebrate and what you would like to happen on special occasions – or what are you are worried might NOT happen – don’t expect the other person to JUST know. Without discussing these little hopes and expectations, you are setting yourselves up for failure. If you are a few years down the line or already married and you never talked about it before, have a good sit-down and TALK (and record the message because he will forget) and when you’ve communicated - put systems into place – seriously you can even place a reminder on his phone! But then release it and don’t tie your personal worth to the size of the gesture you receive. Birthdays are important to me – and so far Mr. Meyer has never forgotten one. I think it is because he knows, that my present to myself will cost at least double than his present to me!

Point number two:

Selfishness is not the point of self-care.This is the age where “self-care” is hyper trending – I’m afraid the term is misunderstood and we may be shooting ourselves in the foot. I think the term was originally intended for people who are working hard and selflessly caring for others as a way to say, “it’s ok, you have permission to ALSO look after yourself. Fill your cup so you have something to pour into others.” A wonderful concept, but instead, I’m afraid that every encouragement of self care has been caligraphied, framed and reposted to death by many of us who would do well to rather work on, “other –care” than “self-care”. By now – I’ve probably lost anyone who really needs to hear my point number two which is – instead of focusing on yourself and what you need, instead of focusing on how you can get him to do the things that are important to you, do the reverse.  Find out what is important to your partner and truly make a consistent effort to do what is important for THEM. Yup – put your partner first. And then apply point number 1 – don’t expect anything. Outrageous – I know!  This is a life – long learning curve. But here’s the deal – when you look out for your partner and truly places his needs before yours – it invokes a sense gratitude in the other person and you will see behaviour change – so stick with it and you can thank me later.

Point number three:

Learn the love language of you and your spouse.This is a fun little activity. Gary Chapman’s book did not become a best seller for nothing. If you think about your spouse – what are the things that make them come alive… how do they enjoy receiving and giving love? Speak their language! You know you can do a free quiz to help you find your love languages on their website (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/). They actually have a quiz for the whole family. The 5 love languages are: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, giving and receiving gifts, and words of affirmation – in my opinion it is all about being considerate and attentive to the ones you love, in a way that matters to them.

A personal side note, I love old G’s 5 love languages – it is really fun – but what it has taught me that I need all of the love languages but at different times, poor Mr. Meyer.

Number 4

Know that love alone does not conquer all.Yes…you heard me; love alone is not enough to keep you happily together.  It may sound like common sense, but think about it – at some point of our life, we all seem to have a warped definition of love. Just think back to your very first earth-moving crush. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, and you think that you could move mountains for this person. All based on the wild chemistry that seems to take over your body! We have all been there. Yet, our understanding of the concept of love, will naturally affect our expression of it. We all know that in the 70’s “free love” basically meant as much enjoyment with as many people and with as little commitment as possible. I can’t even imagine how many broken hearts and families occurred during this time.  Come to think of it, perhaps not much have changed. We still use the term loosely reducing love to an emotion that should be accompanied by feelings of happiness. With this philosophy therefore in the absence of happiness, love is consequently also absent. We start our relationship by “falling” in love as if it happens by accident – and by these terms you could “fall out of love” just as easily.

So here is a question:  What does love mean to you? Discuss and define what love means to you as a couple. In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, it highlights words and phrases like “affection, attraction, to like or desire actively, to hold dear or cherish”. Many are “feeling” words. Feelings – as we know - change like the wind! While the circumstances of life changes and we need to remain flexible, “love” needs to be something that we can count on regardless of what life throws at us. Wedding vows are said in one moment in time – they should perhaps be repeated as a mantra to remind ourselves what we truly promised each other.

Love alone does not conquer all – not without actions – such as commitment, respect, and devotion and not without the understanding that should be unconditional. I know what you are going to say… it has to be mutual. I hear you, friend – but here is the thing. In a lifetime together, there are times when the true love of one – carries the other through a difficult season and then in a different season, the other one may bear that privilege. Thousands of marriages will be saved if we would be prepared to stay committed to our vows and carry each other through seasons, knowing that seasons do change. Write out your love as a declaration of commitment with the objective to make it – together, conquering anything that may come against it.  Let us not reduce love to mere feelings and hold on to the fact that true love matures and gets richer and more fulfilling as we vanquish life’s challenges and write our unique love story together.

Ok, lets get to the next part in the list. Here are some things that you may find useful, credited mostly to those whose marriages that have endured the storms of life and have lasted even much longer than ours:

Ready for number 5?

When you fight – and you will – fight “clean”.We hold the heart of our love, in our hands – we know deep and secret vulnerabilities that have been entrusted to us. What are we going to do with that? We could use them as weapons or guard the heart of the one we love. Which brings me to

Number 6

Choose being kind over being right.This might have been a Pinterest post, but it is GOLD! When our need to be RIGHT is greater than our desire to love and build, we cultivate an environment of self – righteousness, criticism and judgment. Our choice.

Number 7

Single ladies – hear me - Two broken people do not make one whole one. Never enter a relationship with the hope of fixing someone. Drop it like it is hot darlings  - you are not a Saviour. And also don’t expect for someone to rescue you. Not emotionally, nor financially. We can simply not rely on anyone else to “make us happy” and we cannot continually “make another person happy” if they are, well, not a happy person.

However -  if you are already in a marriage where you thought that you could save your spouse or they could save you – know that though this may not be easy my friend – there is much hope and strength in the power of a supportive community. You can and should get help. Be sure to create a support network for the both of you that can consist of trained professionals and friends and decide for this to be a chapter in your story and not the entire book. 

Number 8

BE the person that you want to be with.This is a much more effective strategy than making it your life’s calling to better your spouse.

Number 9

Be captivated, don’t compare.Comparison cultivates insecurity and discontent! The marriage that you think is better than yours – is absolutely not. Great marriages are great because they find the treasures in the one that they are with; they become captivated by the one that they choose over and over again – and they simply don’t give up. This is something that you can do too.

Number 10

Get good at forgiving.Holding grudges is a heavy burden and my friend, know this - at some point you are going to have to have to forgive and many other times, you are going to need forgiveness. Herein lies the secret.  When we refuse to forgive, not only is it toxic to yourself but you kind of say that your mistakes are more acceptable than his. Years together will reveal countless mistakes made by each half of the partnership, we may as well drop the superiority complex and accept our mutual imperfection. Forgiveness liberates both of you to have a fresh new beginning. So, practice grace – even if your spouse does not deserve it – I promise you that the tables will turn at some point of life and you will need the favour returned.

Number 11

Don’t have a backup plan. Eliminate any other options. Yup you heard me -  no thinking that “IF” this does not work out. No fostering relationships with anyone who could be a threat to your marriage. Practice radical faithfulness. Bill Withers, one of my favourite singers sings in one of his songs, “you are too much for one man, but not enough for two...”. Well said, Bill.

Number 12

Share daily highs and lows firstly with your spouse.John Maxwell, an authority on leadership shares how this simple practice has kept him and his wife close and helped to fuel the friendship. True friendship is the foundation of any great marriage. This is no secret – but how are we actively fuelling the fire of friendship? Reflect if this point needs some attention and if adjustments need to be made. This connects with

Number 13

Never stop dating each other. The difference between the excitement of dating and reality of marriage – is not the fact that you get married – it is simply… an attitude change. It’s when you stop making an effort for each other. When marriage seems stale, start dating each other again with first time curiosity, excitement and effort. Never underestimate thoughtful gestures and little surprises for each other. And don’t wait for him, be the one who starts a new tradition of creating beautiful moments and memories.

Number 14

BE different, but work as a team.Embrace each other’s strengths and weaknesses find how you complement each other. Instead of competing against each other for selfish gain–celebrate other successes as if it is our own and come alongside your partner with strength where he is weak. Attempting to highlight your strengths and focusing on his weakness may help you win the round but babe; you will end up losing the race.

Number 15

Criticism kills.If you are looking for something bad, you will find it. Discuss issues, find solutions – this is constructive. Accusation, blame and pointing fingers will always destroy. The reverse is also true: If you are looking for something good – you will find there is much to love and be grateful for.

Number 16

Create shared values and a shared vision for your life.  I cannot stress this enough. Establish those from the beginning, but if you haven’t, it is not too late. This is far more important than sharing common interests or feelings of attraction. Although they have relevance, interests, hobbies and careers change –even if they have brought you together. Shared values for example are your principles on faith, faithfulness, and the importance of family. Your vision for your life for example is what you would like your family to look like in 10, 20 and 30 years. These are the foundations that help you build a solid home that last.

Number 17

Praise him privately and publically.Do it sincerely and in a way that speaks to his heart.  Let your other half shine and set them up for success. We share the negative so easily don’t we, and yet all of us desire some measure of affirmation and approval from each other. Acknowledge him for who he is, give him credit for where he makes an effort or what he is good at.

 Number 18

Choose your tribe wisely.Choose to surround you with those who are FOR you, those who are in favour of your relationship and who want to see both of you thrive. Even so, be wise, remember, whatever you share about your spouse cannot be unsaid. Often you move past your problems, but the others still remember the pain that it caused you and they may struggle to forgive.

 Number 19

This is a personal one – but for me it is the most powerful of them all. Choose to do your marriage with God. If I had to choose a mentor to lead me through marriage, I would choose someone who emulated true, unselfish love and empowerment. Think for a moment and hit pause before you answer…  Who has demonstrated in all of history the most radical love story ever written? It will be very difficult to deny the power, the gentleness and the transformational love that the historical Jesus displayed – even if you don’t choose to believe that He is who he says he is. His documented historical acts of love are impressive. My point number 19 is therefore is that we need all the help we can get and I am so grateful for a mentor who fuels our marriage with what it needs to flourish. I truly pray this for you too my friend.

 Number 20

Own your mistakes.Own it like the woman you are. Admit it when you’ve messed up. Don’t cover it up or hide it. Learn to sincerely apologize when you were at fault and then act accordingly. It is humbling to feel like you owe somebody something – but when you’ve messed up - don’t justify, don’t make excuses – take responsibility and own it.

A final Number 21

Love the one you are with, in the circumstance you are in.Love and live life wildly, freely, joyfully  – don’t reschedule it for when there is more money or when the kids are bigger – now is your moment. Remember you may not have tomorrow.

Now, you may notice that this is written to us as women. I wrote this as a girlfriend to my girlfriends – knowing that the exact same thing applies to men and if both parties would apply these consistently, many more marriages would flourish. But I wrote to you – because I believe as women, we hold a special power to guide and guard the hearts that we are entrusted with. We are, I believe, the guardians of our galaxy. So here is a suggestion.

Instead of listening to this podcast and moving on. Print out this cheat sheet of 21 practices and practice it. Did you know that it takes 21 days for a thought to be changed in our minds? Amazing isn’t it? If your marriage is already great - see it as a way to further enrich what you already have. If your marriage is suffering, I am here to bring you hope and solid strategies, which can bring about change. Just whatever you do, don’t give up my friend; your best years are still ahead.

 Well friends, this is it for today. I would like to invite you to connect with me also on social media on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lifestyledesigneroninsta/or Facebook @thelifestyleemporiumtribe, https://www.facebook.com/thelifestyleemporiumtribe. 

You can also reach me through my website: www.thelifestyleemporium.ch which offers both learning experiences and mentorship and my contact details should you want to get in touch, ask questions or make a special request if there is something on your heart which we can discuss on this podcast.

Until next time.

 

 

 

002: How to Be a Guardian of Our Galaxy

My name is Ellen Meyer I am delighted to welcome you to your new gathering place,a hub of fresh encounters, inspiration, courage and life skills that will help you realise and fulfil the purpose that you have been created for – while living in joy and abundance throughout the journey. This is an interactive conversational lifestyle podcast. I would like to accompany you my friend, wherever you are – whether it be on your lunch break, in a traffic jam, or just looking for some fresh motivation and encouragement. For this podcast to truly make a difference – really listen, reflect and engage. There may just be something that you need to be reminded of today.

What I am going to share with you today is a message which I believe is so powerful that it can open your eyes to see your world in a way that you have perhaps never considered it before. I believe this will enrich the quality of your life and transform the way we think about ourselves as women - that is - if we would let it. It is a very simple concept –but one not to be underestimated. I’ve seen and experienced its power and I hope that it will be valuable to you, too.

Frustration and Discontentment

So here we go: I believe that as I am speaking to you now, there are some of us who are frustrated and deeply unfulfilled.  For some, it is momentary but frequent, for some it is an ever-present discontentment that lingers quietly in the background and for others – it overpowers your entire world. It affects you deeply and may even flow over into your relationships.

Everywhere we look, we find “experts” that are trying to tell us what we need to do to or how we need to look to finally feel fulfilled. Ten steps to achieve this or that, buy this book or buy this course and then finally achieve the joy you so long for. This constant unchanging message implies that happiness will not arrive until we have accomplished certain things. It has us convinced that life will get better if we just take certain steps, whether it be to start a new business, change our job or even change your spouse, if the current one is not living up to expectations. However, if joy remains at the endless thread of things to do or to change, this strategy will leave us always thinking that we haven’t done or achieved enough. Because, let’s be honest, how many of us HAVE read that book, or taken the ten steps towards whatever and… fulfilment still remained so distant.

In this podcast, I would like to help you evaluate your life, honestly and identify the source of your frustration and what to do with it. It will cost you – the time that you invest to spend on a few deep reflections. 

Just to give you a little background on what motivated me to write this:

Through no plan or ambition of my own, it so happened that I have lived in different cultures and countries and I am connected to women all around the world. And do you know what…? Regardless of geography, culture or generation – it is astounding how much we actually have in common. For example, the longing to be recognized, to mean something, to have a voice… All of us desire to be heard, all of us want to be affirmed and appreciated in some form or another. Most of us want to feel secure in the outcome of situations and that our lives make a difference. “Making a difference” looks different for everyone depending on your passion, your natural and acquired gifts, and what touches your heart. But all of us want to know that our lives matter.

I have also seen a common thread amongst many women - myself included - when it comes to knowing that we are valuable, accepted and affirmed. I will generalize my examples, but this is what I observe: I see women yearning to meet “the one” who will completethem. I see women strivingto prove themselves in the workplace – both in the corporate or entrepreneurial world. Then at home – the hustle and the friction continues with decisions such as whether to start or grow a family – which spouse takes on which role and the wrestle for your place.

All over the world and through the years I see us wanting the next thingand the next step. We hardly arrive at the subsequent step, we hardly pause for a moment to embrace the present - when the next level beckons. And ifwhatever we deem to be the consecutive step does not happen as hoped or as culture dictates then – that is where unrest and disappointment starts to fester.  And friends, it is SO important to recognize if we find ourselves in the midst of such in this endless circle.

Dreams are Goals are Good

Now please do not hear what I am not saying – wanting to make progress is a good thing. I am the world’s greatest advocate for having dreams and being goals orientated. It is important to have things to work towards and look forward to. Working towards milestones formally or informally is – in my opinion non negotiable for a fulfilled life. However - when our level of joy is directly tied to the accomplishment or the steps on our plan, it may mean that we are not appreciating the journey or the people or the experiences on the way to the destination. When analysing your level and frequency of discontent and frustration please hear me: NO ONE on this side of heaven lives in a state of constant euphoria – where there is rarely a down moment. No one is ALWAYS happy! This is an illusion. But on the other hand – when joy and fulfilment seems like a mysterious fairy-tale – it would like to assure you today that there is another way, because it is attainable.

Here are some signs how you can identify if that itchy, naggy, persistent restlessness is something that needs a bit of attention:

When discontent lingers and you find that your ebbs and flows  - are more like ebbs and ebbs. When joy seems like an elusive unattainable something in the distance that you never seem to reach.

Resentment and blame.When you start to feel resentment towards a situation (often one that you can’t change) or your spouse or your children - feeling like they are somehow responsible for you not having the life you should have.

When you find that you become dependent on stuffto get you through the day or night – it could be compulsive shopping or comfort eating or waiting for wine o’ clock to strike. If our goal is to just get through the day– we are wasting precious moments.

If you look back on your life more than you look forward. When you start to have nagging regrets that you would have been so much happier IF… you took a different turn, IF you made different decisions, studied something else or married the one who got away…

If you look forward, with unrealistic wishes or idealistic expectations of life - because you have convinced yourself that you  “would be so much happier or worthy - when you achieve that qualification or promotion or when you finally get to wear that white dress… or have those little arms wrapped around your neck… or when you fit into that smaller size dress.

 Friend, whatever it is on your distant horizon, in the deepest place of your disappointment - just know that – you truly are not aloneand know that there is a way through this. But it is a way, which does not consist of quick fixes or temporary distractions that will only take your mind or heart off what is reallythe problem.

 Today’s talk is not simply about mindfulness and being present – this is way beyond that. This has to do with: WHO you ARE and NOT WHAT you DO. It has to do with the fact that YOU have been lovingly created. It has to do with the reason why you have been created – which is BIGGER than you – and it is connected to fulfilment and wholeness. I would like you to take a deep breath, yes… breathe… you are ALIVE my friend. And do you know what? You have life to LIVE and to GIVE, YOU are worthy.

 I would like you STOP - tying your joy, your worth, and your happiness to another thing that you have to DO or to ACHIEVE. Consider the wonderful possibility that you do not have to prove yourself to anyone to be valuable. YOU ARE PRECIOUS beyond words, just being you.

Your Worth

Hold on to that knowledge – that fact – that you are worthy (even if the media -  you yourself or someone else is telling you lies that you are not good or clever, thin  or successful enough. You are more than enough just on your own. Your value is not tied to other people’s opinion of success in your life or your accomplishments. It is so important that this becomes an immovable rock of truth in your life – for some of us that will take some time to establish, as we may have believed for so long that we need to adhere to some imaginary standard, to mean something.

Our Connection with Others

Now - let us take this one step further.  I am convinced that our level of fulfilment and joy increases in our connection with others. Not in their approval or praise of you – but - in relationship. In you and I relating to others in a meaningful way to them – in us being intentional in adding value to others in sharing who you are. You – you have a story that has made you who you are. When we look away from our immediate struggle and look around – you will find that even in our brokenness – you have meaning. You have hand to hold. But there is a catch – whatever we give to another – our joy becomes complete only when we don’t’ necessarily expect something in return. It has taken me a lifetime to even start to scratch the surface of this inconceivable paradox – but it is life transforming.

Guardians of Our Galaxy

So - open your eyes and evaluate what and who is in your world. YOU are someone’s, someone…  You have a sphere of people who surround you; you are someone’s daughter, friend, sister, wife or mum. Moreover, you interact with strangers in your sphere, whether it is at the bakery or supermarket at work or school. It is time that you realise that your sphere is your opportunity.You hold a world in your hands.  And what I am about to tell you is so simple, yet so significant. Do you know why – because you have been entrusted with a world, with people and relationships… and not for no reason. No - YOU are the guardian of YOUR galaxy.

It is important to note that we do not own these relationships but we are guardians of them. We do not own our partner, friends or even our children – but we have an amazing opportunity to look outside of ourselves and make a difference. Instead of looking at what we do not have – if we evaluate what and whom we have and how we could intentionally make a difference in their lives – an amazing thing happens: meaning, purpose and joy starts to seep in through something as little as a smile or act of kindness and thoughtfulness.               

I am not sure what your belief system is – I will share with you what I believe – but I totally respect that everyone has a different faith journey and you off course have the right to disagree with me. The reason why I speak about my convictions is because I believe that it can truly help you. And for far too long – I did not realise the power of such simple truths. So, I hope that you would take a chance in trusting that what I share is relevant also for you.

I believe that God ultimately leads our life.Years have taught me how little control I have over situations and other people. But I believe that  - when we are in tune with Him, we are at our most fulfilled. In other words – I think that unhappiness is sometimes caused because we may be doing something we are not made to do or that the timing that God has determined is not ours. Naturally, there are difficult seasons where we sacrifice for the right things – but if it persistently fails to be fruitful  - it is worth re-looking our course of action - asking why there is no fruit and no joy.

So – I believe that God has made each of us thoughtfully with so many gifts, to flourish. These gifts do not need to be - a great singing voice or an Einstein brain -  (thank goodness, or else I would be hopeless) it could be the ability to relate to others, a warm smile, or the ability to love people well, a compassionate heart or a flair to create. YOU are completely unique in the way that you and your gifts work together –  and you are entirely capable to make a positive impact and be fulfilled. Believe it!

 If you would like your world to be better or to live in a better world –you need to begin in you galaxy. We need to start in our home and our world.

If we want to have circumstance changed – we need to accept responsibility to take the first step towards that change. Looking back in regret or forward in blame will not help – but the secret is hidden in making the most of what and who you have.

If you have been in a place of discontent or frustration - I would like to take you through a simple exercise. The goal of this exercise is NOT to tell you that you will be joyful when you do XYX – the goal is for you to find the joy in where you are and what is in your world right now.

If you are driving or unable to write at this moment – listen to these questions, reflect and then come back to them later, writing down your response.

Taking the time to write the answer to these questions will be very valuable to you.

1. How would you define or describe yourself? (Include some strengths and weaknesses).
2. When I talk about situations of discontent or frustration, what comes to mind?
3.  How would you describe a perfect day or life as you wish it would be? What would that look like to you and how does this look different than the life you currently lead?
4. What or who, do you compare your life with?
5. I would like you to make a list of the people that are in your everyday world.

Now, I will briefly elaborate on why these questions merit reflection and how they might help you:

1. How would you define or describe yourself?

It is important that you really know yourself – or get to know yourself. Often that only happens by observing yourself through different seasons, in different situations, social or solitary. Life experiences teach youthings about yourself that you did not know. I guarantee that you will discover that you are great at some and terrible at other things. My point is that – even in the discovery of yourself as you change through life’s seasons, there is joy to be found in knowing how you were made and how you grow and change and what makes you come alive. You are unique - there not one description that would look exactly the same.

2. When I talk about situations of discontent, what comes to mind?

Example, you are still single oryour husband gets to work and you are at home orlife with small children is draining oryou are stuck in a rat race oryou limited by finances.

List what is heavy for you and then we will move on to question three:

3. How would you describe a perfect day or life? What would that look like to you? How does this look different than the life you currently lead?

I will give you an example: At one point in my life, I was in a transition and was looking for the next thing. I was a career girl, but realised the corporate world for me - was not conducive to being a good mum to a small child with no family around and I finally came up with the idea that I wanted to own a coffee shop. I dreamed of how I would furnish it and what it would look like. I dreamed of all the wonderful friends that I would make. I did research and was frustrated that I could not find the perfect venue at the right price. One day, I spoke to a friend and he asked me a simple question: he said, if you have a coffee shop what role would you play?  I thought it was obvious. I said, “Well I would run the shop”. Yes, he said, but what would that entail? I realised, I did not run through the daily tasks of running a coffee shop realistically. Because in my mind, we would have a team to do different things, but in reality – in the beginning – I would likely have to do MOST things. I gave him a vague answer, knowing that I failed to truly think through this. And this reflection led me to some revelations such as:

 I would need to open the shop before school, which would mean that I would give up the special time that I spend with my son in the morning. Secondly though I enjoy baking the occasional cake – I would likely need to bake every day – I do not even like being in the kitchen – not to mention cleaning up my own mess! And not to mention being a cashier or doing the books!

 

I realised that I would LOVE to design and set up a coffee shop, I would love to gather people and build friendship over coffees - but running a coffee shop will be so much more than that. I finally realised that the dream was a bit of an illusion and the timing was all wrong – in reality it would be much better suited to my husband who is a chef - I was frustrated for all the wrong reasons. But I learned a valuable lesson:

Think through the illusions of your dreams.Make an actual plan.  Speak to different people who have done the same thing and make informed decisions, in fact, let the dreams that motivate you, be your genuine desire and not just a vague idea.  Sometimes, we could be dissatisfied in a perfectly perfect life in pursuit of a little magical little fable, which does not exist, and you may find yourself in a terrible predicament in business or marriage.

4. What or who, do you compare your life with?

Whoever they are or whatever you are comparing your life with. Simply stop. It is the most futile exercise – it will either give you an inflated ego misleading you to think that you are better or more successful than whoever you are looking at OR it will deceive you to think that someone else has a better marriage, home or life than you have. This is definite joy killer. Simply stop comparing.

Finally:

5.  I asked you to make a list of the people that are in your everyday world. When you have done that, ask yourself, how can I add value to their life? Relationships are riches. Personally, I mistakenly believed that I needed to have a successful career or business to be fulfilled. I tied my worth to the financial contribution that I could make to my family. I still sometimes catch myself doing that. But I realised that I could add significant value to the people in my life in a non-financial manner, through creativity, attentiveness, being thoughtful and caring. All the years of being an equal financial contributor in my family – did not have a fraction of the impact until I started thinking of creative ways to meet them in their actual place of need. It took me - laying down some of myself – and being intentional about caring for the people in my world. Imagine that!

When I stopped thinking about what I do not have, and started thinking of what is in my world and how I could make a difference there. Everything changed.I started truly listening to my husband – to what is heavy for him to carry and started making an effort to lighten what was burdening him. When my son came home, I was present to listen to his day, putting in the effort to meet him where he is at. I have come up with such fun projects and have forged such a close friendship with my little boy. I started experiencing such fulfilment in making the most of my world just as it is, that I realised that I missed what was right in front of me for so long.

The Potential in Your World

Your world may look completely different than mine – but it holds no less potential.  But there are people in your world with who you can make a difference just being you and showing them that you care about what is important to them. 

For example: Instead of being depressed if you are single – use the time and flexibility that you have to build relationships that last. Trust me – you don’t know how long this freedom will last and what an opportunity this is. If you are married, think about how you can stand by him and be a true partner in the journey to share in the highs and lows of life. Or if you feel stuck in an unhappy marriage – try – with no expectations - to add value to his life in new  and thoughtful ways every day and see what happens. Consistency is key here, nothing happens overnight. I would just like to add – when I talk about unhappy marriage, I am not talking about abusive situations. In these cases, I urge you to reach out and get help.

Friends, you will be amazed how simple things such as CELEBRATING the successes of others, LISTENING to those around you and KNOWING that even in the most exhausting, frustrating seasons, you are able to shape and form lives.  None of our situations is forever – unique opportunities present itself even in the most challenging or limiting conditions. It can trap you or … unlock a world of possibilities. You are the guardian of the hearts of your friendships, your husband and child; you could set those hearts aflame with love, kindness, selflessness and generosity.

This podcast deals with the issue that most of us face at some point: the issue of being discontent or living an unfulfilled life. However, I want to recap by saying that I did not do this for you to feel that you need to do another thing to gain access to the intangible world where you will eventually feel alive. I wanted you to know that YOU are cherished and you are enough and your joy is contained within the world that you are a part of.

Please do not merely gloss over the questions that I asked, but realise the power of your high calling, fellow guardian. LIFE will truly spring from GRATITUDE. Gratitude for your life – just the way it is, as opposed to feeling that you are a victim of your circumstance.  The only difference between those who are fulfilled and others – is that they have realised how to be a good guardian of their galaxy. What an honourable position it is that you have, what a world of opportunity to have the challenges that are unique to you, to have the gifts that are unique to you. You -  just the way you are, in the world that you hold in your hands. The joy is woven through the journey.

 It is my hope that you will breathe a new breath today – realising afresh that we get to walk this walk and we get to love the ones who have been placed in our world. So let us resolve to know our value and embrace our galaxy - living and loving to the fullest while you are alive.

Well friends, this is it for today. I would like to invite you to connect with me also on social media on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lifestyledesigneroninsta or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thelifestyleemporiumtribe.

You can also reach me through my website: www.thelifestyleemporium.ch which offers both learning experiences and mentorship.

 

Until next time!

 

 

001: Who Am I and What am I to You

You are listening to the Lifestyle Emporium podcast episode number 1.

My name is Ellen Meyer I am delighted to welcome you to your new gathering place,a hub of fresh encounters, inspiration, courage and life skillsthat will help you realize and fulfil the purpose that you have been created for – while living in joy and abundance throughout the journey. This is the debut episode of – an interactive conversational lifestyle podcast and this is the moment where we get better acquainted with each other and where you receive a glimpse of what you could expect during our time together.

 Let me start by preparing you: I am THE imperfect perfectionist. Love things to be perfect, but it has for far too long ruled my life and prevented me from going forward because I found a flaw or imperfection somewhere. My aim is not create a perfectly professional podcast – heck, you may even hear a cow moo as I record from my office in our little Swiss farm village. But it is meant to add value to your life and link our hearts. I see it as a declaration that Progress is better than perfection.

Goals for the Podcast

I have many goals for this podcast, but by far the most important is to be a companion, a friend AND to connect you with others who are – just like you – hoping to connect and be inspired.  As I share about my journey in finding purpose and joy in doing that which I was created to do – it is my greatest hope that I will be able to help YOU find your reason for being, your perfect design and purpose. I want to help you find your place.  Also, if I am honest, I have realised that for a big part of my life I was often consumed with whatever occupied me for that season. An intense work schedule, moving around, starting new ventures or parenthood often left me pre-occupied and frankly overwhelmed. Looking back now I wonder if all that overwhelm – did not prevent me from being better friend, a better sister or leader. Though there is nothing I can do about the past – I look FORWARD to come alongside you now to walk with you in friendship.

 As a bit of a nomad – I have made friends all around the world, but time and distance prevents us from meeting face to face to have a coffee, pour our hearts out, be a sounding board and lift each other up or share advice or even recipes. This podcast is one of the ways I am using to foster that kind of friendship. So to my old friends and the new ones I am about to meet through this podcast, I am reaching out to you today. I would like to hang out with you while you are on your lunch break at work or sitting in a traffic jam, whether you are an entrepreneur girl boss or whether you are steadily working through endless mountains of laundry or nursing your new-born baby.

 This is for you single ladies or the married ones, the woman in transition or the trailing spouse. It is for anyone who is hurting and no idea how to cope with the grief… and for each of us with hopes and dreams that just needs someone along for the journey and a little wisdom and encouragement for a new day. If you need someone to accompany you or believe in you, I AM YOUR girl and this – is where you belong.

Isolation as a Turning Point

The idea for this podcast was birthed during a time, when I experienced the debilitating effects of isolation.I am not talking about the kind of so solitude that all of us need from time to time – the kind where we draw away to be refreshed and are able to strategize ways through the maze in our minds and lives. No – I am talking about isolation. The loneliness where you feel that there is no one to reach out to, the kind that you carry with you whether you are in a crowded room or all alone.  This kind of isolation tells us lies about our life and our value,it leaves us feeling vulnerable and often, instead of reaching out – we draw deeper into our shell. It was during one of these timesthat it became clear to me that I was standing at a crossroads- I was faced with a choice:I could give in to despair – which would swallow me like quicksand or I could make this a turning point.

I realised – if I wanted friendship, true uplifting friendship – I need to DO something;I need to BE a friend.I need to BE the friend that I long to have and whom I know that I need. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert – there is scientific evidence that we need other humans. We need to interact; we need to share and to be heard. We need each other. 

There was a point in my life where I was a social phenomenon– I was always surrounded by people and friends, hosting or arranging parties or meet ups. A few years down the line, I hardly recognized my life. Away from my home country and friends, I felt isolated and confined in a foreign culture with a foreign language – I was desperately lonely and unconnected. My gift for connecting people was wasted in place where I was not able to communicate well or break down the walls of a different culture. I felt trapped. Can anyone relate?

Thankfully – I realised that I have some choices to make – and I do have the power to make them. I realised that this could be the turning point - to not only pull myself out of this place where I was stuck – but reach out to the thousands of women who -  I came to realise -  were in the exact same position than I was. I realised that I was NOT limited by where I happened to live, as I am able to reach the world without leaving my home. 

I know we are overloaded with media and messages. Yet it is my hope that this podcastwill not just be something that you mindlessly listen to, but that you will take it all inin, engage, interact and allow it to become a part of a transformational experience.Even more importantly – I hope that this will be a way of linking our lives, sharing stories and truly helping you to find you’re your place in the world. The world is dealing with an “isolation” epidemic. While independence can be a good thing, an individualistic lifestyle leaves us ultimately weaker than we could bewhen we put our big beautiful hearts and mindstogether. Frankly, life could be so much richer if we reach out and make an effort. It may start with a podcast, but how wonderful if it can go beyond that.

A Multifaceted Zone

Thus, friends, I introduce to you The Lifestyle Emporium, this is what you can expect in this multifaceted zone:  Each week, I will deliver this interactive podcast and blog post that will address a segment of what makes up our lives as women. For example, there is a lot of talk about mental health – but I believe that on the road to healing and wholeness – we need to address the many facets of you.This includes your spirituality, health, relationships, marriage, parenting, community and society as well as creativity.

 We will also talk about our goals and dreams – which may be expressed in many different ways, in our families, our community, entrepreneurship or self - development. And then, there is the gift of creativity, which I believe, plays an important role in eliminating anxiety and producing fulfilment. This could be expressed in art creation, party or home design or creatively putting systems into place to find order in your world.  We are diverse and magnificent beings and there is SO much joy to be found in discovering what it means to be YOU – and how YOU can make a difference in your family, your community and in the world.

 This is a journey all about discovering what it means to live life to the full – regardless of your circumstance. I hope for it to inspire you and I even hope to sometimes challenge you – and if you reflect, engage and apply what you learn, I am convinced, that you will be one step closer to the live the joy-filled, purpose driven life that you were created to live. You are not that far from it.

The Lifestyle Emporium is proof that life’s saddest moments can be turned into something truly amazing.I wish that you and I could just have a coffee together face to face – and share the stories of joy and sadness that make up our lives, but this will have to do.

A Little More About Me

For many years – I felt that I needed to prove myself and I had a subconscious belief that my personal accomplishments and career achievements defined me and equalled success in life.  I convinced myself that my entire value and worth was closely tied to success or failure. Have you ever evaluated yourself based on your performance, your bodyweight, beauty or what others think of you , perhaps men in particular? If you have – I hope you have realised by now, that this is an endless road that leads to a place called heartache.

 Two things happened which rocked my world: Firstly - I discovered that a God who loves me wildly lovingly created me, regardless of my performance and secondly though we were not able to have children, a miracle baby boy entered our world.  He was the gift I never asked for and turned my world and my plans upside down in the best possible way. He has taught me more about life than any other person that I know. I am launching this podcast on the 10^thbirthday of my gorgeous little boy.

 Though I am a work in progress – I live each day, from a place of knowing my true identity. This boy mama is a recovering workaholic, a compulsive organizer and sugar addict with a love - hate relationship with carbs. Gathering people around the dining table and organizing parties is a passion, so I married a chef! Mr Meyer is the love of my life – and there is no hesitation when I say that he is my better half. Creativity, fitness and faith are my therapists and I am in my happiest place when designing anything or pottering around our home with my boys. We are in the process of what feels like the lifelong renovation of our Swiss country home which I LOVE – though friends - at heart, I am a city girl who loves to dress up, wear red lipstick and high heels!

 The Dreaded Introduction

As far as introductions go, I have a confession to make: I truly love meeting new people – it is one of my favourite things in the world. But there is always one part in the conversation that I absolutely dread: It is the part where people ask me “So, what do YOU do for a living…?”

Life thus far – has proven to be quite an adventure! And if you knew me, you would understand that I like to play it safe and adventure was the last thing I was looking for. This girl wants stability and security.  As a child, we moved around a great deal in the country and I always felt unsettled – all I wanted was to stay in the same place, build tree houses, form a gang and save the day, like Nancy Drew.

 Not much has changed, I still want to build a tribe and save the day and we kept moving around even as an adult…, which has made my career path very colourful. I have worked as a Beauty Therapist and Make-up Artist, I have worked in top, luxury hotels in Public Relations, Marketing and Communications; I have continued by studies to become an Interior Designer and become a Shop Owner. I’ve been an entrepreneur a few times over!  I have been the co-founder of a small community where we looked after the hearts of people, where we taught and trained and walked together in friendship, counselling, mentoring, and sharing life, over countless meals and coffees. All of these roles have developed me, prepared me for life, given me skills and compassion and enlarged me as a person - but by far the most rewarding and amazing role that I was given as a gift – is that of mum and wife.

 My way of Giving Back

I – probably much like you my friend – have weathered many storms in life. I am no stranger to brokenness and failure – but I can confidently say that I am living a whole and purpose driven life. This would have not been possible without a loving family, a life-giving community and faithful friends who took time to walk with me. This has been a big motivator for me to start the Lifestyle Emporium and to form communities and walk with people in their healing and wholeness journey – I wanted to give back some of what I had been given.

Hardship set my life on a course of development and learning, traveling the world and meeting and fostering relationships with the most extraordinary people, mentors, leaders and friends. This road has been bumpy at times but it has brought me the richest of life experiences. Yet it is FAITH which has made me not only a survivor, but a conqueror – and which have led me to discover my true reason for being – something which I would love for you.

After all the years of moving around – I think we may have finally settled. We have been living in Switzerland for 7 years. Don’t let the illusion of Switzerland deceive you into thinking that we have “arrived”. It has been to date the most uncomfortable, personally challenging chapter of our lives. Yet once again, these adversities have produced opportunities that would have been impossible to recognize, if life was cushy and comfortable. Pain and discomfort is often the seedbed for creativity and growth and the place where PURPOSE is born.

I am a multi-passionate girl and could never be contained in one little box. My career journey has been so diverse and unexpected – it certainly did not go as I planned. But you know what… it has turned out better than I could have dreamed and has made my path cross with amazing people and now I am able to share it with you.

 Perhaps my friend, you are standing at the edge of a new season, entirely unsure of what the future holds –this prospect may fill you with excitement or paralyzing fear… I am here help you to look for the beauty in each moment – no matter how hard. Your amazing story is being written as we speak and I know that you will find here, some treasures of wisdom and joy that I have gathered through life and that could help to improve yours.

Crafting my “Title”

Coming back to the question of what I do. I’ve come to realise that most of us like to have or give titles – it somehow helps us define ourselves and understand others. But no matter how comprehensive the title is – it can never really express who you are. But for the sake of brevity, I have crafted the title of “Lifestyle Designer”. I am a Creative, a Designer, I am your mentor and I am your friend. I am the author and creator of the Lifestyle Emporium podcast and blog, which will be a free weekly resource for you.

 Where You Can Find Me

 You can find all this and more on “The Lifestyle Emporium website: www.thelifestyleemporium.ch– which offers both learning experiences and personal mentorship to help you discover your gifts and strengths.

I have a big request. All the most recent podcasts, blogs, freebies and inspiration will be posted on social media, so connect me on:

Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lifestyledesigneroninsta/or

Facebook @thelifestyleemporiumtribe 

Your Turn

Friendship – one of the main motivators of The Lifestyle Emporium – is not friendship if it is one-sided. I would love to hear your story, I would love to hear how I could love and serve you better or address an issue that you are wrestling with. So do connect with me through social media or via email: ellenmeyer@thelifestyleemporium.ch.

 Here are three things that I would love to know from you:

1. If someone asks you to introduce yourself, how would you do a concise little intro in 2 mins?  
2. What are the areas of your life that you would most value to gain skills or inspiration?
3. What are the areas in your life where you most struggle or wish to change?

I cannot wait to hear from you. For today, I leave you with this truth: whatever your belief system - you were created out of love you were born with a purpose. It is my hope and my belief - that as we journey together, you will learn to love yourself and others in a way you have never done before, that you will discover your perfect design and that you will find joy unexpected places.

 So don’t give up, take one day at a time and know that you are not alone.

 

Until next time!